Do not overuse connectors in your writing. Try to use logic to establish links between ideas rather than relying heavily on connectors.
In the example 1, the text highlighted in yellow is not connected with the previous ideas. The writer has opted for using connectors (“furthermore”, “however”) but there is no logical relationship between these ideas and the previous ones.
 
WRONG
RIGHT

1.

Victoria Harbor has numerous ferry services, underwater tunnels, travelling spots and container terminals. However, compared to other harbor cities, the latter have a more comprehensive usage of the harbor. For instance, Macau has a fishermen’s pier, Singapore has developed a harbor bar district. Furthermore we are able to see the Lion Rock on the harbour originally. However, the developers built modern buildings and they block the view of the Lion Rock. 

[The highlighted sentences could be deleted because they had no connection with the preceding information.]

2.

I have a resistant training certificate presented by the HKPFA. Additionally, I have a First Aid certificate offered by the HKISS. In addition, I also have a level one certificate as a swimming coach in KHASA. Finally, l have a bachelor’s degree as a graduate from THEi. Also, I know how to cater to the training needs of different individuals. 

I have a resistant training certificate presented by HKPFA, a First Aid certificate offered by HKISS and a level one certificate as a swimming coach in KHASA. I have also graduated from a Bachelor of Social Sciences in Sports and Recreation Management at THEi. My qualifications and experience show that I know how to cater to the training needs of different individuals.

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