The inappropriate use of connectors could be a word choice error associated with meaning. Alternatively, it could be a structural error: some connectors are associated with sentences/clauses, other connectors require noun phrases.

Such as

Similar to “like”, “such as” is associated with noun phrases.
In example 1, “such as” could refer to immediately preceding noun phrases such as “the haste of people” or “people”. Here, “such as” cannot refer to the immediately preceding clause “adding recreational land use helps to reduce the haste of people”. We can link “adding recreational land use helps to reduce the haste of people” with “provide more open space […]” using a non-finite verb form “allowing us” to indicate that “provide more open space […]” is a consequence of “adding recreational land use”.
 

 

WRONG
RIGHT

1.

Adding recreational land use helps to reduce the haste of people, such as provide more open space, green areas and some small art galleries, which are places to relax and lower the stress of people and ease the issues of air pollution.

Adding recreational land use helps to reduce the haste of people allowing us to provide more open space, green areas and some small art galleries, which are places to relax and lower the stress of people and ease the issues of air pollution.

 

On the other hand

“On the other hand”, usually preceded by “on the one hand”, is used when you write about two different facts or two opposite ways of describing a situation.
In example 2, “on the other hand” is not a suitable connector because “destruction of heritage is a serious problem in Hong Kong” is a new idea not in opposition to the previous idea (“Reclamation makes the Hong Kong harbour […]”).
 

 

WRONG
RIGHT

2.

Reclamation makes the Hong Kong harbour narrower and this causes the destruction of the natural shape of the harbour. On the other hand, the destruction of heritage is a serious problem in Hong Kong.

Reclamation makes the Hong Kong harbour narrower and this causes the destruction of the natural shape of the harbour. Besides, the destruction of heritage is a serious problem in Hong Kong.

 

Even vs. Even though

“Even” is associated with a noun phrase (e.g. Even bad students can understand this.). “Even” cannot be linked with a full sentence.
In example 3, “even” is linked with a full sentence (“Hong Kong underwent […]”). Here, we can use “even though” instead.
 

 

WRONG
RIGHT

3.

Even ø Hong Kong underwent economic restructuring from an intermediary trade port to a service/financial-based market, Victoria Harbour’s gorgeous scenery still attracts numerous tourists from around the world and has brought immeasurable benefits to our economy.

Even though Hong Kong underwent economic restructuring from an intermediary trade port to a service/financial-based market, Victoria Harbour’s gorgeous scenery still attracts numerous tourists from around the world and has brought immeasurable benefits to our economy.

 

That

The conjunction “that” can be used to connect a main clause to a subordinate clause (e.g. I think that this restaurant is good.).
In example 4, “that” is connecting two sentences in causal relationship. Instead, we should use the connectors “as” or “because” to highlight this causal relationship between the harbour’s namesake and its Chinese meaning.
 

 

WRONG
RIGHT

4.

In fact, the harbour is the namesake of Hong Kong that in Chinese, “Hong Kong” means “fragrant harbour”.

In fact, the harbour is the namesake of Hong Kong, as/because in Chinese, “Hong Kong” means “fragrant harbour”.

 

For example

In example 5, “for example” is correctly associated with a noun phrase (“a protest”). However, by linking “a protest” with “a hunger strike and violent clashes” using “for example” it is suggested that “hunger strike” and “violent clashes” are types of “protest”, when in here “hunger strike and violent clashes” are separate elements of the “protest” which actually happened.
 

 

WRONG
RIGHT

5.

At that time, a protest, for example a hunger strike and violent clashes between the police and citizens against the demolition of Star Ferry Pier lasted for several days.

At that time, a protest, including a hunger strike and violent clashes between the police and citizens against the demolition of Star Ferry Pier lasted for several days.

 

As

“As” connects two sentences. It cannot connect a sentence with a noun phrase.
In example 6, “as” is connecting a noun phrase (“not enough land supply”). We should say “as there is not enough land supply instead”.
 

 

WRONG
RIGHT

6.

Hong Kong’s land problem has existed for a long period of time. People think that there is a reason behind the problem, as not enough land supply.

Hong Kong’s land problem has existed for a long period of time. People think that there is a reason behind the problem, as there is not enough land supply.

 

Because VS. Because of

“Because” is followed by a sentence and “because of” is followed by a noun phrase.
e.g. I enjoy studying at THEi because I can always go to #Writeadvice to seek help.
e.g. I enjoy studying at THEi because of #Writeadvice.
 

 

WRONG
RIGHT

7.

The view of the harbour is often unclear because _
the photochemical smog which is caused by nitrogen oxides and suspended particles.

The view of the harbour is often unclear because of the photochemical smog which is caused by nitrogen oxides and suspended particles.

See more.

Tagged on:

Raise your question